Well, it almost took a year. It was a hot Summer day, I believe, when S, my client (not sure if she's want her name used here so I'll just stick to a one letter initial) called me and requested I pick up her recently departed best feline friend. Someday when I have more articulate thoughts running through my mind I'll delve into all the emotional trappings of pet taxidermy, but for now I'll keep it brief. It's awkward and sad, picking up the deceased member of a family. I feel clumsy and don't know what to do with my hands. I feel guilty if I find something funny. It's a kind of turmoil, and the only thing that helps me through it is admitting that I feel awkward and weird and moving on from there. I feel like I'm connecting with people whom I've barely known on a level so deep and raw that it's like hitting a nerve out of nowhere.
But I do know S. I've been getting to know her. She's a delightfully sensitive and wonderful being, with what I suspect is a morbid sense of humor but I haven't seen it quite yet.
Anyway, meet her cat:
Poor baby was sick for a while and had received some kind of shot or treatment, hence the shaved arms. Aside from that she was a beautiful specimen. It took me forever to get the form down; it was basically hand sculpted over the entire period of time. I refrained from too much embellishment as I knew S might want to add her own personal touches. For no particular reason I incorporated a crystal ball for her to lean on, as though she were showing S the future from the other side.
I want to hear purring when I look at this photo. Lets not ever forget how magical cats are.
I figured a pillow would be a suitable base, as she is a regal creature. And I guess that's it. I'm tired and need to be on a plane in a few hours. More on this shortly, when I have my wits about me.
Just a few shots of whats brewing at Diamond Tooth: All these claws are future talon charms and should be available for sale shortly. Say I love you for Valentine's day while flipping Hallmark the bird.
[caption id="attachment_1487" align="alignnone" width="600" caption="chicken claw with vintage amethyst charm"][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_1488" align="alignnone" width="600" caption="chicken claw with unicorn charm"][/caption]
[caption id="attachment_1489" align="alignnone" width="600" caption="XXL chicken claw with genuine lead crystal charm"][/caption]
I searched for a song about "dirty birds" prior to writing this and I discovered that there is not only a song by that name, but a dance to go with it! OH, Atlanta, you slay me. I got a kick out of the video; there are some hilarious background folk featured throughout.
Anyway, the video and that brief preamble are to serve as a slight buffer between you and the visual content of this post, as it's a little dirty. I figured I've got enough street cred as a taxidermist to have earned your trust, so I feel OK writing about the less glamorous aspects of this craft that make so many people queasy. If you cannot stand the site of flesh or bone, then please abort now. But if you're feeling brave, take my hand baby birds, I'll feed your head for a minute.
I had two hunters drop off birds last week. One was what I initially identified as a female Bufflehead but upon closer inspection actually turned out to be a female Blue Wing Teal. The other bird was a white pheasant.
Two gorgeous specimen, although you wouldn't know that from the insides of them.
Let's start with the duck. Ducks are notoriously fatty. There is an odor to them that tends to hang on for a few weeks even after they're tanned, dried and mounted. I have no qualms with the odor, but the fattyness can get quite tiresome. You see, I don't yet possess a fleshing wheel, so I have to cut all the fat off by hand. Being someone who actually finds solace in mundane repetitive tasks, I usually don't mind this but I've been pushing my poor paws to the limit lately and there is a soreness creeping in that only people who work with their hands could begin to understand.
Whining aside, I do like trimming fat. I marvel at it. I mean, this is what flavor comes from. But my first instinct is to recoil in disgust if it gets all over my hands or my face. Why is it gross to touch this substance that is so completely universal-I have it, you have it, all your dogs and cats have it, trust me they do- and it's the common denominator of all things delicious? This fat is the real deal. It's not oleo or some bogus hydro corn science project, its bona fide, warmth providing, lifesaving fat. I am getting better at embracing the stuff however; it doesn't hurt that after handling it I've got smooth Palmolive hands for hours, even after scrubbing with soap!
As you can see from my very official chart above, duck skin is tricky. It's simple to see where trimming needs to be done, but the actual skin is like a thin film of tissue paper underneath all that fat. It's extremely easy to cut too far and make "duck doilies". Needless to say, I'll have quite a bit of sewing to do on this skin before I mount it.
After that, its into the tanning solution and a quick rinse. Whenever I pull birds out of the water, I'm just a tad dubious that I'll be able to turn such a sad looking rag into something as beautiful as its original form, but it always works out.
Onto the pheasant. As is often the case with game foul, this guy was just riddled with bird shot. Both legs were all but shattered.
It's not just a matter of holes but picking the shot out of the flesh, since I feed these birds to my animals and I don't want my little babies choking on lead. The feathers kind of clump together around the shot, some still with quills in the skin, some buried in the meat. It's not unlike pulling weeds:
Here's one leg. The bone was totally broken, which can be hazardous for little taxidermist fingers working flesh off of them. I have the scrapes to prove it. The other leg was completely obliterated. This means more work down the line when it comes time to mount, but this all comes with the territory.
Post bath, also looking like a wet rag, albeit one covered in beautiful feathers.
Like I said, I use this meat to feed my cats. If a hunter just wants a trophy mount and doesn't care to eat what he catches, I will gladly play vulture and use whatever meat I can for my four-legged brood at home. Obviously this applies to game and not roadkill. In this case, I cut off what I could and placed it all in the crock pot with some chicken stock. A few hours in there and presto! Warm cozy Sunday dinner was served to my little ones:
Early in December I was contacted by Allison Feldish in regard to a show she was curating at Extra Extra Gallery in Philadelphia with International artist Abbas Akhavan, among others. A brief description of the show, called "So Far, So Good", from the Extra Extra website:
Extra Extra presents SO FAR SO GOOD, an exhibition of work examining the elements of uncertainty brought forth by recent social, political and environmental upheaval worldwide. Addressing concerns from global economics and capitalism, to political violence and surveillance, the conversation between the artists is presented on a platform of poetic inquiry and investigation. Each was selected to acknowledge the feelings of uneasiness, absurdity, hopefulness, despair, humor, paranoia, and earnest defiance that pervades our present day experience. The work and artists represented are not necessarily providing concrete answers, but asking questions and presenting choices.
Abbas, a multi-talented artist who also dabbles in taxidermy, has a mounted messenger pigeon piece which is integral to his contribution to the show. When attempting to navigate the red tape involved with shipping a piece of art such as this over international borders (Abbas currently resides in Canada), the artist and curator came to the conclusion that the papers, fees, etc, required to make this happen would exceed the cost of simply paying a local taxidermist to alter an already existing pigeon form, which you see above. Below is the pigeon mounted by Abbas:
Pretty great job, I say. Again, here is the pigeon I was to transform into the one mounted by Abbas:
The main difference between the two birds is the angle of the neck and head. Also of note would be the eyes, which are black glass bulbs on the one I received but closed and detailed on the original. Thirdly, I would have to reposition the feet.
Clearly I had my work cut out for me.
I began by wetting the areas in question to make them a wee bit more malleable. Once I'd worked out the exact spot and angle of the cut, I went ahead.
I needed to not only replace the head so it was arched back, but also turned to the side. This proved more difficult than I'd anticipated, but I ploughed ahead. Here it is, most of the way back on. At this point I'd also began to rework the eyes.
The feathers were understandably a bit ruffled and confused as to where they were to lay after being turned about like that, so I let the whole thing dry with a compression sock on for 30 hours. After that I inserted and glued, one by one, teeny feathers from the portion of neck I'd removed into any areas that needed filling.
I added more "skin" to make up the eyelids, after painting the pupils on, and voila:
Oh yes, and I repositioned the legs, which gave me a bit of grief but I showed them no mercy.
The show opened last Friday and is up until the 12th of February. While I didn't make the opening and have yet to see the dupe in action, I intend to go this weekend and check it out. I invite you to do the same, should you be in the Philly area!
A week or so ago, a local hunter contacted me via my Yelp page (speaking of which, why don't you stop over there and leave some feedback about my services, guys and gals? I'd really appreciate it) in search of some professional help with a European deer skull mount he was just about finished working on when the antlers plumb dropped off. Apparently , the buck was just coming out of rut when he harvested it, and somewhere in the skull cleaning process the antlers decided to fly the coop.
Full disclosure: I am not certain that I am using the term "rut" correctly; conversations with hunters and the internet tell me it refers to the period of time when a buck is on the prowl; he beefs up (this much I know from seeing the thick mountains of line-backer neck muscle on trophy mounts caught mid-rut) and makes a lot of noise and fights and all the carnal things that go along with finding a mate. I think the word rut can also refer to when their antlers fall out, which happens every year around late Autumn to early Winter, depending on climate and location. If I am speaking out of term, please let me know in the comments section. Perhaps, I could incorporate some posts from guest bloggers, as I've always been interested in hunting but remain outrageously uninformed. Rest assured, potential clients, my ignorance should inspire confidence in my work! It serves you well to hire a taxidermist who doesn't spend all her time in a tree stand when she should be working on your trophy mount.
All that said, here is the almost European mount, in three pieces. The orange you see at the root of one antler is glue residue from a prior attempt to re-attach them, which proved unsuccessful.
Skulls are so beautiful. Treat yourself and take a moment to marvel at how amazing this feature of our anatomy is.
The bottom of the antler. The english-muffin-like texture of the break points makes sense; it facilitates the release of the horns instead of them just falling out with roots like some bloody teeth.
I drilled holes at all four connection point and inserted a steel bracing rod into each of the two on the skull. After securing with epoxy, I shimmied the antlers onto the bracing rods, forming a perfect union.
It took some measuring and finesse to ensure that the antlers would "land" in the correct placement in relation to the skull, on top of that, I made pencil notches along the outside which would line up when everything was in place.
Now that the mount was back in one pice, I had to address the rough transition point between horn and skull.
I used some top secret taxidermist sculpting clay to create a transition surface and blended it all together. While it dried I applied texture to match the natural surface of that particular part of the skull.
After it was set and dried, I painted the clay to further blend it all together. Here is the finished product. Unfortunately the fuller picture I took came out blurry but this gives you an idea. And the customer was satisfied which is all that matters in my book.
Behold the goddess known as Cherie Lily. I have been an admirer of hers since I first met her, briefly, in the ladies room of some bar in Austin during South by Southwest, 2010. (Which, technically should make her ineligible for this project since it's about folks I've never met but nobody cares so there). She was wearing a spandex get-up not unlike the one you see pictured below, and washing her hands. I walked in with my friend and exclaimed, "Great outfit! You look awesome!", to which she replied, "Hey thanks, I'm performing upstairs if you're interested!", and I was too embarrassed to tell her I had no money to see any ticketed shows; I was only there to catch the free performances on the outskirts of the SXSW event...so I just peed and left it at that.
Cut to two days later when my friends and I went to see the free GWAR show, and among the day long line-up of performers, there she was! Cherie Lily, onstage with Andrew WK, aerobic dancing and looking like a neon spandex glamour queen. In between songs, the audience was treated to multiple aural doses of positivity, feeling good, loving yourself, and being beautiful no matter what anyone says.
Does that sound hokey?
Well then go fuck yourself.
Sorry, harsh. What I mean is, if that sounds hokey it's probably because self-acception/celebration is an unfamilliar concept to you. And that is sad. Forget what your family/acquaintances tell you and embrace your body, your dreams, all of it.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
This attitude in mind, I started with a felt hat from a vintage collection I received as a gift from a friend (more about that in the future), a bright kelly green one because of the strength represented in that hue. It had some wear and tear; I re-pressed it ad gave it a new shape, but some of the small pock marks couldn't be erased. That's ok, I thought, they're the small imperfections which document a full life lived.
I placed the taxidermy accent pieces under a studded flap on the side of the hat; chicken feathers, red squirrel tail, dyed deer tail, and some blue dyed feathers which I acquired with another vintage hat. When worn, this would be the straight-on view:
It's on the small side, meaning that it's more like a fascinator since it won't fit snugly on the head; it will need to be set in place with combs or a hair pin. I sewed two combs on the inside, envisioning her pulling it back over her thick hair and it resting in place. But, this is an unsolicited gift for a woman I can't even say I know, so all I can do is touch wood and hope it works out on her head. I did get a thank you email from her this morning, all full of kind and gracious words, but I can't help but wonder if maybe it didn't fit well enough. Alas, she said she can't wait to wear it so I'll eagerly await any possible sighting of her in this little ditty.
Finally, as a detail, I incorporated an old wrestling pin I rescued from the trash heap in my brother's room. The ten year old in me can't help but chuckle at the homoerotic-ness of these two spandex clad men in such an embrace, and I thought, as a gay icon, she would appreciate it.
As a gay man with lady parts, I know I can.
Let me know if you see her wearing it, New Yorkers!
And thanks Cherie Lily, for inspiring self-confidence in little freaks like me who never felt they could possibly fit into any of the factory modeled forms provided.
